Adult friendships are so hard! There are a million and one reasons for this, but it still bums me out. I have tried to reach out to women and been “snubbed.” But, women have reached to me and have probably felt “snubbed” by me. Being friendly with someone and being friends with someone are two different things; let us not be confused by that.
Here is a list of reasons why friendships are hard for me, personally:
- Shame. What if this person sees the REAL me and then they blab to everyone how big of a crazy person I actually am?
- Guilt. My kids need me; my husband needs me; I don’t have time for frivolous activities like a cup of coffee with a girlfriend (Sounds crazy, right? See #1.)
- Time. Moms are running around like chickens with our heads cut off 90% of the time. The other 10% of our time is spent trying to sleep. We work, volunteer, feed our families, go to meetings, try to keep a clean home, and, in my case, spend nearly 2 hours a day in the minivan.
- Money. Going out for a drink or for dinner can end up being quite expensive when you tack a babysitter fee to the top of that. In my case, my closest friends, ironically, live several hours away, and it isn’t cheap to travel.
Maybe some of you feel the same way. My 5th graders and I recently discussed friendships and the importance of those friendships in their lives. Right now, those little guys and gals get done with school and go straight to playing with their best pal. They sit by their pal at lunch and at recess. They want to read books with their friends and chat with their friends. Their best friend knows their deepest darkest secrets, and no matter what is there for them.
What happens? Do our deepest darkest secrets get too deep and too dark to share? Are we really that busy for each other? Are we too cynical of others? I am not sure.
I am thankful for an upcoming trip to Sioux Falls to see one of my close friends from elementary school and her sweet baby. I am also looking forward to a trip to see one of my best pals in the Black Hills in May.
The Gospel lessons recently have been reminding us about what it means to be a good, loving neighbor. Let us not forget what it means to be a good, loving friend.
Peace and Blessings,
The Displaced City Girl